Raising a toddler can make a dad feel a lot like a car salesman, particularly at mealtime.

This week I got to participate in the preschool’s Donuts with Dad breakfast with the three-year-old Slugger. I’ve been going to these things for a few years now, and they are always a lot of fun. The Slugger was excited, I was excited, and there were donuts. Relally, what wasn’t to like.

The Sharpnadoes are the four Sharp progenies. These four small humans have brought much joy and many sleepless nights to our lives.

I calmly asked the young Zoologist if he had been messing with the thermostat. I played it cool, like the good cop in every episode of Dragnet. He said that he had. I asked him why. He said, “Because I was cold, and I wanted it to get warmer.” Before reading him his rights I thought it wise to impart two pieces of advice to him. First, don’t ever touch the thermostat again. Second, you didn’t make it warmer, you turned our house into a polar bear habitat.