Happy Birthday Lego, Thanks for All the Pain.
Aaron Sharp | January 28, 2021
This column originally appeared in the Odessa American newspaper January 28, 2018. It appears here by permission of the newspaper. The text of this column appears as it originally did 3 years ago, but I have taken the liberty of adding some clarifications, and adjusting numbers as necessary.
Today, is the sixty-third anniversary of the patents of one of the greatest toys in history. Coincidentally, it is also one of the most profanity-inducing toys ever to hit the market.
I am speaking, of course, of Lego bricks. Legos are made up of an ABS plastic polymer that gives every Lego piece strength, durability, and a nice shiny finish. This means that as toys go they are all but indestructible. In the month since Christmas the average child has already broken approximately four toys, but Legos are probably not one of them. Our own two-year-old Fashionista has never even broken a Lego. They could become her nemesis.
In addition to the bang for your buck that Legos provide they are also well-known for building creativity and problem-solving skills. If you don’t believe me, pick up the February 2016 edition of The Journal of Marketing Research and read the article The Downstream Consequences of Problem-Solving Mindsets: How Playing with LEGO Influences Creativity. Or you could just take my word for it.
Legos are indestructible and encourage creativity. Yet, parents typically speak of them in hushed tones as if they are the villain in a new Harry Potter book.
Parent 1: My kid got a box of The-Toy-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named for Christmas.
Parent 2: One year when I was a kid I got some Le…
Parent 3 (interrupting): DON’T SPEAK THE NAME!
Okay, parents don’t really give Legos the Lord Voldemort treatment, but we probably would if we weren’t so tired.
No one who has been a parent for any amount of time can see, hear about, or touch a Lego without thinking of one thing - pain. Which probably isn’t what the company is going for. Every parent has experienced the excruciating feeling of slowly sneaking down a hallway to check on their snoozing little angels only to step on a Lego. The ensuing pain is what Indiana Jones would have felt if he had been caught by one of those booby traps in The Temple of Doom. Scientists tell us that there are around 200,000 sensory receptors in your foot. Step on one Lego and all 200,000 tell your brain, “Death is imminent, we should’ve had dessert today.”
I have a friend who swears that our strategy for the next war we fight should just be to carpet bomb the other guys with Legos. Of course, when the enemy from the pain of stepping on the Legos they could just use them to build an indestructible fortress, so maybe this isn’t the best idea.